Tuesday 8 September 2015

God saved me…



I believe that I am a child of the most high. Am favored and as it has been said, I am kept, not by any earthy human being but by the most high, the omnipotent, God.

I love investing and if I get a good project to put my money, I do without a thought. It’s called securing your future. Sometimes I get those weird looks of ‘kwanini unajifanya mwanaume’. To be clear, sijifanyi mwanaume, it’s just that my prince charming has not swept me off my feet yet and am not going to sit pretty and wait to enjoy his well-earned investment. Even in the older days, our mothers knew better than to seat and wait to be wholly provided for by their husbands though the husbands would effortlessly provide. They knew their role in the house unlike today.

So in a far off land, that is Oloitoktok, I saw beauty. The Mt. Kilimanjaro beauty attracted me. When the offer was made by a reputable sacco, I went for it. I couldn’t resist, I love nature and adventure. I could see myself at old age just seated outside my pouch enjoying the sunset and view of the beautiful mountain. Talk about having wildlife as your new buddies. The swara’s, giraffe’s and on rare occasions, the king of the jungle himself, the Lion. I smiled all the way with castles effortlessly building in my head. No one could convince me otherwise. 

I enjoyed the drive, from the beautifully tarmacked Oloitoktok road, into an all weather road that leads to the parcel of land. I felt like a genious every time my sister said that it was a brilliant location.

We got ourselves a driver or so we thought. That was because we didn’t want to get too exhausted and anyway we wanted to enjoy the breathtaking sceneries along the way. And maybe we could have spotted something else that could arouse our interest. We embarked in the midmorning. At around 6.00pm, a few meters to our destination the worst happened. The road was bumpy I think to prevent drivers from driving too fast and endangering the lives of the wild animals. 

All along I felt the speed was too high. Personally I don’t do speeds beyond 100km/h. I intimated but after a few kilometers of reduced speed, he resumed the high speed. When we got to the all-weather road, I got relieved and I promised myself that on our way back, I would drive. It was like 22km in. We chatted all the way and just as we were about our destination, can’t quite say what distracted our dear driver but we found ourselves inside some bushes. Our car had skidded off the road and in a spin second of a minute we were fighting with huge trees branches and trying to avoid huge stone that were precarious lying there not knowing what was happening.

We finally made a stop somewhere in between trees. Our breaths gone but no one injured except the car which I think might be a write off. Thank God it was a strong car, high enough to evade the stones. Apart from a few light scratches and pains where the safety belt was strapped, we all are good. Thank God for the people who invented seatbelts, now I know the usefulness of strapping it always though I never ignite before buckling up.

#Chroniclesrules: rule1; never engage a person who is not a certified technician or a professional driver.
  Rule 2: never allow a person who doesn’t own a car to drive your car.

 Rule 3: never allow a rookie under the influence of new love near a steering wheel. (tihihi)

Rule 4: a MOLLIS in bed is not necessarily IAN DUNCAN on the road… hehehe

Wednesday 2 September 2015

Respect your bedroom!!!



What happened to respect for the matrimonial bed?
 
My neighbor is a young beautiful lady living with her seemingly young and not bad looking boyfriend. They call each other hubby and wifey. Am always soo proud of ‘wifey’ because she is a very organized and clean lady. There are always sweet aromas of food coming from their house. She does laundry for both effortlessly. She is basically a wife material judging from what I see. Why I mentioned laundry is because some of us me included have to secure help from one of those mamas to do laundry and many other chores. We aren’t lazy we just create employment.. heheh

I had always admired them and prayed that God blessed their union.

Shock on me when one day the dear hubby decided to chat me on whatsup. Haha!!

I was always told that it’s not advisable that a single lady stays alone. She will get all sorts of suitors. I guess I had attracted one, and the wrong one for that matter, for myself. I do live a very private life and I always thought no one really noticed me. Yeah right! 

So my dear neighbor decided that I don’t have enough series and movies in my house and offered to treat the damsel out for a movie. I almost fainted. To top it up, he requested to bring me lemon flavoured vodka that we can enjoy together. No idea which brand he had and in who’s house it was be enjoyed in but following the conversation, it was clear that he was busy inviting himself to my dear humble aboard. I was showered with lotsa compliments and all along never responded. First, because I was terribly offended and shocked at his guts and secondly because me being me, I don’t entertain such bullsh** 

I thought silently “why can’t you at least respect the person who warms your bed on a daily basis or at least makes your meals so you can gain energy to enable you see other damsels. I was lost for word and so many things crisscrossed my mind. Terrible things I can confess.

I didn’t know whether to laugh it off or yell soo loudly for the heavens to open and swallow him. My instincts told me to brush it off and I did. I lengad all those tuweird messages and emojis, whoever invented them *sigh. 

So the other day as I was coming from enjoying dinner with my friends, I heard someone walking sluggishly behind me. I hastened my steps for the fear that someone might be after my dear me. When I opened my door, I felt confident enough to look behind and check who it was that was thirsty for my blood or chondo, tsst! Kumbe it’s my dear neigbour. He had picked some shenanigan to come and calm his balls. Damn!! My blood was boiling. And to top it up he was bringing her to his house that they share with the wifey. I felt so sorry for him. I was soo temped to text the wifey and tell her to come home and burst this cheating bust*** but then again I realized I did not have an idea of their arrangement. And as they say, don’t meddle in the issues of two people who sleep together, like literally.

I coiled my tail and safely locked my door and prayed to God to give me the grace to forget and move on. And also to not allow me have nightmares stabbing him….hehe

#chroniclesangryadvise: Wanaume mtatuonyesha mambo. Tafadhali peleka your side hustle mahali ingine sio nyumbani kwa bibi. Heshima si utumwa.